Being Christian: Another Perspective on Same-Sex Marriage

It’s not always easy being a Christian, ever-increasingly under attack from people who think they understand what you believe, know that what you believe is a load of crap, categorize all Christians as believing and behaving the same way, and belittle you for believing in the “paranormal,” “spiritual,” or “mystical.” Of course, The Guy who started this gig never promised it would be easy. He did command us to love one another, which puts us at a disadvantage—we can’t really defend ourselves with like ammunition when attacked because we believe in respecting (loving) our detractors. So I wade into the waters of Christian writing fully aware that I will be attacked by sharks.

As an observant Christian, my first thought upon hearing that same-sex marriage was sanctioned in the State of New York was “Hooray!” A later thought was “What a Christian thing to do!” Unfortunately, according to media reports, I am in an underwhelming minority; fellow Christians are horrified at the thought of same sex marriage—and, yes, some of them are.

One of the arguments some Christians make against same-sex marriage (SSM) is that it undermines the concept of family or, worse yet, is a volley in the attempt to destroy it. In reality, it expands the concept of family. While the family unit may or may not be the basis of our society, we—as a society—are guilty of limiting the definition of “family,” trying to make it a private club for which only some people qualify.

It does take a man and a woman to “make” a baby…or more aptly, an egg and a sperm (although science is conquering that, too). However, making a baby does not automatically make a man and a woman “parents.” 


Not everyone wants to do the work or make the commitment, so their kids end up as statistics, many withering away in children’s homes, foster care, or on the street, except for the ones that don’t make it that far because a parent or parent’s associate murders them. 


Since adopting parents are no longer required to be heterosexuals (or married), the pool of potential families increased exponentially. This is a good thing—people who want children can provide loving homes to children who are not wanted.

We already have statistics that children who are raised in two-parent homes have advantages over those in single-parent homes; the advent of same-sex marriage increases the number of two-parent homes. Certainly some will quibble that research supports the advantage going to children who have a male father and a female mother, but isn’t the example of two parents who love, support, and respect each other the greatest advantage?

According to an article by Tom Shelton, published by Blogcritics on June 25, 2011, “One of the primary functions of a family unit is that of procreation. Biology requires a male and a female for procreation. A same-sex couple can not produce children on their own. This threatens the very existence of a society or nation. As the number of same-sex couples increases the number of couples available for procreation decreases and if it decreases enough then the total population will begin to decline as the birth rates do not meet or exceed the death rates.” SSM does not increase the number of same-sex couples nor decreases the number of couples available for procreation. Marriage “legitimizes” the relationship between two people, regardless of sex, and on an emotional level it formalizes their commitment to each other.

People aren’t going to become homosexual because SSM is now legal; the number of same-sex couples does not increase, only the number of same-sex married couples. Most of us know that the egg and the sperm don’t have to come from people wed to each other to produce a child—with SSM there are more families available to give children homes because they have the advantage of being two-income households. If Zero (or negative) Population Growth were to be a result of SSM, we would all benefit, but results of efforts in that direction over the past half century have been disappointing.

There are so many arguments, made by Christians, against SSM that simply are not valid. There is not a dividing line between Christians and homosexuals; the opportunity to be a Christian is not limited to heterosexuals. Therefore, SSM families can share and propagate their religious beliefs (no matter what they may be) just as efficiently as “traditional” families (many of which fail at the task).

Will having homosexual parents influence a child to be homosexual? No, sexual orientation is not a matter of choice and children witness a large variety of lifestyles. Unless homosexual couples insist (to the point of indoctrinating) that heterosexuality is a sin and unnatural (thereby creating heterophobes), children will be what they will be. Ask any republican parent who has a democrat child, or vice versa.

The Christian role in the SSM debate should be what the Christian role has historically been—understanding, tolerance, respect, love. Sadly, not all Christians feel this role applies to them, and some manage to generate tons of publicity for their various hateful causes, apparently missing the whole message of “Judge not, that ye be not judged…”

Originally published: http://technorati.com/lifestyle/article/being-christian-another-perspective-on-same/